Thankful

There seems to be too much riding on this post, and the words and the language that I have do not seem sufficient.

My gratitude for our Thanksgiving experience is abundant.

In the midst of immense joy is a great deal of sorrow.

How do you blend it all together?  Like a margarita?  I could go for one of those.

My mom had a great day on Thanksgiving.  She was the momma that I know and loved.  While we brought together new normals of taking naps and rest, with hanging out with family, it was so good.  It was so good to see her laughing, joking, and in the middle of everything.  It was so good to see her with those that love her so deeply.  It was so good to see her in her skinny jeans with her skinny legs.  It was just good.  No, actually it was great.  At the same time it was so bitter sweet knowing that it will most likely be the last Thanksgiving I get to share with my momma.  That just stinks.

So we savored it all.  We savored all the baby snuggles, and all the giggles.  I lied down with my mom when she was resting just to take in another hug.  Because it was my birthday and I could sleep if I wanted to.  Plus there were tons of open arms to love on sweet Grayson.  The only thing that could have made it better was if my youngest sister could have been here.  I am really looking forward to her moving home.

In years past my family would go bowling after dinner.  Normally everyone is spread out at different family functions and it was a way for everyone to come together.  My mom started this tradition many years ago with all my cousins.  She was the cool aunt and closer in age to my cousins that my aunts and uncles.  We didn't have bowling this year.  A part of me was so sad.  I was sad leading up to Thanksgiving knowing my mom wouldn't be able to go. While part of me was sad that no one was really pushing to go, another part of me felt a lot of peace around it.  Jon was getting sick and Grayson was ready to go home.  And ultimately, I didn't want to go without my mom.  Everyone had already been in one place for what really mattered.  We had already shared a meal and hugs and love.  It felt complete.  So while I am sad to see things change, it seemed like a healthy ebb and flow.  I really couldn't have asked for a better last Thanksgiving with my mom and my new son.  It was perfect.  Thank you to all the family members who contributed, and my aunt who hosted, as only she could.  Holidays at my Aunt Bev's are magical.  Just saying.

So we will revel in the magic a little bit longer.  I will hold onto the memories for a lifetime.

I also spent a lot of my Thanksgiving thinking about and praying for my friend, Amy.  Her blog is on my sidebar.  She is one of my really good friends at work and was the best doula a girl could have asked for when giving birth.  She threw and amazing shower for me and sweet Grayson and has prayed so many prayers for my mom.

Being a work friend is a hard place to be in a time of crisis.  I don't really know any of her family or her support network.

Amy developed a very serious infection in her leg before Thanksgiving was admitted to the ICU at the hospital we work at.  She was then transferred to another hospital due to how critical she had become.  She has had at least five surgeries and is really sick.  She has been in the fight of her life, and I wish there was more that I could do than fall on my knees and pray for her.  Will you please join me?  They feel that she has turned the corner with the infection, but she has a long road of recovery ahead of her and is not yet completely out of the woods.

I am so thankful for Amy and all of her support through this rough season in my life.  She has been a true rock at work and I look forward to being able to continue to develop our friendship over years to come.  Please pray for healing for my sweet friend.  Amy is getting married in May and it will be a great celebration of her life and family.  I cannot wait.

Jon's birthday was the day after Thanksgiving and even though he is sick, we were able to put up our Christmas tree and spend a day as a new family.  My heart is just so full.  I love when Thanksgiving falls on my birthday, because it is then the longest Christmas season.  While I love Christmas itself, I love the advent season even more.  I love preparing.  I love the salvation army bell ringers.  I love the snow and present wrapping.  I love the giving.  I love what the season truly means.  

This season will be a little bit different.  I will try to slow it down even more than I normally do.  Whenever I think about this time in our lives I always come back to the word "rich".  It is hard and scary, it is filled with great Joy and significant hardship.  Through the ups and downs, it just feels like we are truly living and living with abundance.  There is so much meaning in our lives right now and it feels rich.  Thank you for contributing to that.