Monday, July 16, 2018

an update and an ask

I wish, wish, wish I could post her full picture here.  She is such a love with squishy cheeks and porcelain skin.  I cannot wait to meet her.  She is 9 months old now.

Adoption is so strange and humbling.  Much like parenting in general.  Today I found a cup of pee in the bathtub, which was my son's solution to me telling him to not pee in the tub.  I did not realize that I needed to be so specific as to clarify that the toilet is the appropriate place to dispose of one's bodily waste.  Strange.

Being matched with a babe on the opposite side of the globe is emotionally confusing.  She has a life, personality, preferences, and emotions that we are not experiencing with her. She is not yet truly ours.   While many of the people in the same adoption community talk all about their sons and daughters and how desperately they want to bring them home, I am so nervous.  And I'm so sad, for her.  Of course I would love for her to be in my arms this instant.  And I would love even more so to have had her here as a newborn so that we could experience all of her firsts together.  But instead, we wait.  We have done everything we could, in the quickest time possible to help Ru come home.  We are now at the mercy of the Korean court system.  Before she can come home, she needs to be submitted for emigration, approved for emigration, we need to go to court (Korea trip #1), and then go for custody about 6 weeks later (Korean trip #2).  They say the average wait time for emigration submission is 3-6 months, and we are at about 3.5.

When we do ultimately go to Korea for court, we will be meeting a toddler who does not know us from any other stranger on the street.  Then at custody we will be taking her from the loving foster home that she knows into a complete new world.  While her little mind is trying to figure out if the world is trustworthy, we will be involved in part of her biggest trauma.  It just kind of sucks.  So while we are so excited to be matched with and pursuing sweet Ru, I'm also just so sad and humbled by the process.  From the beginning of our relationship we will be asking so much of such a young little babe.  In the waiting we will continue to swoon over every update sent to us, and we will continue to tell the boys about the sister we know nothing about, but in my quiet personal prayers I am pleading with God to have her heart filled to the brim with love in the waiting and praying that her transition to our family may be as soon and peaceful as possible so that the redemptive work and relationship building can start with her forever family.

You know what else is humbling and strange? Fundraising.  I have level 10 insecurity discussing it, but I keep coming back to "not saying someone's no for them."  So here I am, in all my anxious transparency.

We were unexpectedly given a matching grant for $5000. After our awesome fun fair (where the community and attendance of our friends made as big of an impact on my heart and soul as everyone's generosity), our t-shirt fundraiser, and interesting garage sale, we thought we were done fundraising.  We had closed that book, and I was and am ready to work extra shifts to bridge the gap of the finances we need to travel to Korea twice in this next season.  Working more sounds easier than being vulnerable and again asking for support.  I like my job.  I don't love being vulnerable.  BUT, we were given a huge unexpected gift.  For us to receive the $5000 grant, we need to raise $5000 more dollars.  Every donation will be matched dollar for dollar.  The grant is from a crazy generous local family through an organization called Lifesong for Orphans.  This family has adopted on their own and wanted to continue to support those adopting. We have been able to use the funds raised previously to help cover a portion of our adoption fees when we accepted our referral for Ru.  We needed to pay all fees to Korea and our agency at that time. If we are able to receive the full matching grant, a large portion of our travel costs will be covered.  We anticipate our travel will cost between $12,000-14,000 depending on the timing of our flights and how much warning we receive from the Korean government.

We would love it if you could support us through this organization.  We want to again thank everyone who has already given so generously to our adoption.  Your love and generosity is not lost on us. While it feels crazy hard to ask one final time, we are so thankful to the family that gave us this huge blessing.  It may not have been the timing we would have planned for, but we are continually humbled by how we have been encouraged and supported in this process.

Thank you.  Thank you for the support in all the ways.  You have been so generous with your prayers, encouragement, time, and finances.  We have an amazing and loving community to bring this sweet girl home to, and we are so thankful for it.

If you’re interested in supporting us through a tax-deductible donation

By Check:
1. Make checks payable to Lifesong for Orphans
2. In the memo please write: 7686 Noto
3. Mail checks to Lifesong for Orphans PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744

With Credit (Online):
1. Go to
2. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family”
3. Complete online form and in “Family Account Number” enter 7686 and
for “Family Name” enter Noto

I'll leave you with this sweet picture.  They were supposed to be sleeping, but how could I possibly interrupt this moment?