Remnants

I love the little remnants of my son's life.  The pieces all around our home that remind me that he is here and that our lives have changed.  We are no longer the young couple sans kids with a clean and organized home.

I love making our house a home.  On a budget.  Yes, I joke about our ghetto fabulous fixes, but truly, I take great joy in making our house a home.  

Grayson has taught me a new appreciation for this.  No longer is our house a very clean home.  I usually don't put away laundry until I am out of nursing pads or bras...or it is piled so high that even I can't take it.  The floors get vacuumed when I go to put my kid down on them and realize it's been a while.  The windows don't get washed.  Ever. 

In the past I would think that this was not the way to keep a home.  But times have changed. 

I now love coming home and seeing his little blue bath tub filled with bath water from the bath Jon gave when I was gone.  I love seeing pacifiers scattered around the house as I continue to try to convince him that these things are a good idea and that he should like him.  I have yet to determine who has more will power, but I think Grayson might win. I love seeing his little socks wherever they may fall.  I love his obnoxiously colored toys that now consume our living room because he has yet to outgrow the swing, but if he's not tired, would much prefer the jumperoo.  I love that my house feels lived in.  I love that a little boy has taken over my house, and also my heart.

Because let's face it.  This kid melts me.  So I have no desire to clean the windows or the floors when I could be up in my kiddo's face babbling with him.  I would prefer to see who can babble louder.  Or if it is a crazy rainy day in January, and I work tonight, I would much prefer to just nap with my babe snuggled in bed with me instead of putting him down in his own bed, because I'm going to miss this terribly.  I'm going to miss the snuggles where he fits in the crook of my arm.  I'm going to miss the babbling competitions.  About every third day I get overwhelmed by the state of my house and the fact that I can't do it all. And then I have to talk to myself like a crazy person and remind myself that the days are long but the seasons are short.  And I am truly going to miss this.  

One day the jumperoo will no longer take up too much space in my living room, I will no longer find little socks everywhere.  One day it will be just Jon and I again.  But until then I want to treasure the little things.  I want my house to be lived in.  I want to take in each long day because it seems that my kid is growing at an exponential rate and I have no way to slow it down.  

So today I will revel in my new perfume of baby barf and snuggle with my crazy little man.  I will continue to tickle him while he still can't figure out how to laugh.  Instead all this energy gets stuck inside him and he lets out a big snort with a grin across his face.  Today I will take him in. I will even take the dust bunnies on the floors today, because they can be cleaned tomorrow.