When people currently ask me about myself I respond with:
-I am a nurse
-I am a wife
-I am a daughter
-I am a sister
-I am an over achiever
-I am a type A
-I am a Christian
-I am a good student
-I am crafty
Who do I want to be?
Secure in the fact that I am a child of God and loved and accepted for my heart and not my accomplishments.
A mother.
It sounds so simple, yet it took months for me to be able to say it out loud to my husband. For many years I have been focused on worldly accomplishments. Being a mother sounds so mundane. I get so focused on the money I invested in grad school and what I can accomplish my degree and my career, but I am continually unsatisfied. While I may be able to perform well at work and school, it doesn't speak to my soul. I leave every day craving more in my life. My mother, who knows me way to well, pointed out the fact that I am happiest in my relationships. It's so true. I feel filled up and satisfied when I am able to spend time and grow with the people I love...when I get to share experience and life with people. So people are wired to be successful in their careers. Lucky for me I chose a career I can fall back on. Right now I can continue to work as a Labor and Delivery nurse. I can serve my patients. I can start to toy around with the idea of having babies in the near future. And at that point, if I took a break from nursing, pending a look into our finances, or cut back on my hours...it would be OK. I wouldn't be less of a person, or less loved by those that matter to me. When my kids go to school I can again invest myself in this career that I love. It's a great career, but it doesn't need to define me. I may have fancy letters after my name, but ultimately, I am a child of God looking forward to raising children and loving them like there is no tomorrow. And that's OK.
Actually, that is way more than ok. I love you.
ReplyDelete