Thursday, December 29, 2011

Christmas 2011

Once Christmas is over, I'm done until next December.  I kinda run with the extremes.  All or nothing.  So now Christmas seems like it was a world away, but I still want to get down some of my Christmas memories of this year.  So please pardon this boring post as it is just a way for me to make sure I never delete and lose all of my digital images.  

Since both J and I have divorced parents we get to celebrate the holidays four times, every time.  Blessing and a curse.  This Christmas commenced with the Noto side.  We all got scarfs.
 Where's Danny?

 Oh goodness.
The next day we wrapped presents for the adopt-a-family we do on the Noto side.
 Yep, still wrapping
 We might have stolen some of the presents for the little girl.  We just wanted to be hip.

There were some events at our church.  One involved reindeer.  Real reindeer.  Go big or go home.
And no I am not pregnant.  That shirt hugged just right to make it appear as such.  Can you see something missing in this picture?  

Christmas Eve started with a heart attack inducing meal at my fathers.  AKA "french toast" (deep fried in a pan of oil).  Did you know I have high cholesterol?  I wonder why. Exhibit A: 
 My dad decided to try out "the Noah" mustache.  It suits my brother a bit better.
Christmas culminated with the gingerbread fiasco.  I decided to go with a pre-made house so that I could spend my time decorating.  It sucked.  The frosting wouldn't stick and it looked like poop.  Please pardon the out of order picture upload.  
Larry's reindeer in progress:
 Jon working on his mail truck
 My gumdrops are sliding off the back of my house.  Booooo
 Aly is making an igloo.
 We should have made a sleigh to go with the reindeer.  PS he was originally constructing the Great Wall of China.  How they developed into reindeer is beyond me.

 Aly's igloo.  The winner by far.  Please don't mind the penguin mooning you was he takes a dip in the pond-o-frosting.
Feel bad for the driver, there is no door on this mail truck.  Not even on the wrong side, sucker.
 My house is dumb.  Normal and boring.  Next year I will redeem myself.
 My mom's Christmas decorations.
 Piping on the mail symbol.

 This was hilarious because no one had a lid to put out the fire.  She was making some kind of sauce and we were burning off some brandy.  Keep lids handy people, keep them handy.

 This is the picture that greeted me when I woke up on my anniversary.  What a lucky girl I am.
 Putting away Christmas decorations gets worse before it gets better.
So that is my massive photo dump.  I am currently hopped up on different combinations of drugs as I try to get over a cold/or the flu.  Not sure which, but either way I'm pretty miserable.  By writing this post I have accomplished one thing other than watching T.V. today.  Pretty impressive.  Not really.  You know you are sick when you can sleep a whole day after working a night shift and go right back to sleep that night until 1130 the next morning.  I'm going to go continue that trend.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


So on my quest for Christmas cheer I decided to wrap up some Christmas shopping and buy some strangers some stuff while I was at it.  On my way over to Woodfield I killed a squirrel with my tire.  Not just bump it out of the way, no guts splattered behind my car and I didn't have the balls to look at my tire.  After shrieking, and saying a prayer, and getting over my guilty conscious that was screaming to me "this is God's way of telling you to stop killing the planet," I tried to move forward with my day.

Now you must know how much mental energy it takes to go to Woodfield around Christmas.  Between air traffic control directing the parking lot and the children's play area that makes me fear for the children's safety because it looks like they are all being trampled by a mob of little people, it is just not always the most jolly place.   I get over these facts because it is the only place with the Old World Christmas Ornament store and I still needed some ornaments, or so I thought.  Those that know me know I am an ornament snob and for the most part only buy people nice glass ornaments.  Please don't take offense if you bought me a non-sparkly ornament and I hid is in the back of my tree.  It's an OCD thing and I'll get over it when I have kids that make ugly ornaments.  Moving on.

Not only is my tree crazy so is my mom's.  See.

Anyways, the store doesn't exist this year.  I try to not let this be a day ruin-er and head over to Santa's Treasure Chest.  Wrong move.  Those tacky ornaments belonged in the Wisconsin Dells.  The disappointment has now set in and I decide to take a journey to Macy's and see if we can turn this crap around.  As I'm walking around the Christmas display I hear a shatter under my foot.  Some antlers had fallen of an ornament and I just busted them.  The Macy's lady next to me looks and me and says "Something died," with a little smirk.  You know what died lady, that squirrel and my soul.  Not funny, but Merry Christmas to you too.

Something that couldn't live very long in my house were the cookies for the neighbors.  Luckily the hububs made some ugly ones I could enjoy.

Back to the shopping experience.  It is hard for me to not be lured in by a sale on Bath and Body Works candles.  Those things are potent and delicious. When I shop I like to think and debate.  I usually don't shop with people because I don't like talking.  I have serious buyers remorse and I can count on returning most everything I buy, but for some reason I like to think about it for a really long time before purchasing.  I know I am a mean and terrible person, but I haaaaaate when the sales people are trying to push crap on me.  It makes me hate the consumer/materialistic side of Christmas even more.  No I do not think a candle would be a perfect gift for my dad, you whack job.  Have you met him? No. Would Mahogany Teak be his scent.  Not so much.  So please go away and leave me alone.  My inner Grinch is creeping out.

To help shove him back down I buy some strangers in line with me their drink.  Awesome.  Love it.  Hoping they pass it on in some way.

On my way home I picked up our rings from the jewelers.  I need to remember how much prettier they look after they are re-dipped and polished.  Freaking fantastic.  I absolutely love my engagement ring and seeing it in all of it's sparkly glory makes my day.  (Side note, when I went to go look at engagement rings with my mom I thought I wanted something simple.  Why do I deny myself?  Seriously.  If I can't hang a plain ornament on my tree, why would I want a plain ring on my finger?  It doesn't need to be big, but this girl loves glitter and sparkle and is learning to embrace it.  Please don't judge me when I start wearing glitter instead of eye shadow.)

After that I had to stop at Costco to get Excedrin, my daily vitamin at this point.  While I was there I saw they had Melatonin and I remembered I needed tampons.  So I walked out with those three things.  I must have looked like  PMSing hot mess that really wanted to get some sleep tonight.  It was just coincidence people.

Hoping nothing else dies today and no one tries to sell me anything.

Santa hat or Where's Waldo.  You're choice.

The end.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas Poop

I feel like a poop.  I'm in a Christmas funk.  It doesn't feel like Christmas. No snow, no more holiday parties.  (Note to self, if you want more parties you have to throw them yourself.  Duh.)

So instead of whining about it, I want to do something.  Today I am going to clean my house and clean it well.  So that I can enjoy the last of my Christmas decorations and not have them be covered in crap.  Sorry to the three wise men who may have served as mail holders over the past few days.  Whoops. For me it is next to impossible to clean without motivation.  I'm still waiting for it to set in.  The wise men need to speak up and voice their annoyance with me.

Tomorrow I want to make plans.  I think I need to find me some kiddos.  Kids always seem to be excited about Christmas.  I will do my best to not steal any off the street, but rather mooch the ones I know. Maybe I can do some Christmas crafts or rock some random acts of kindness.  Please let me know if you can think of some really good random acts of kindness that I can do tomorrow, potentially with kids.

As I was wallowing in my funk, it started to snow, big snow globe flakes that fell really slow.  Unfortunately the warm ground zapped them when they landed.  It was nice to watch them while they lasted.

I also need ideas for my ginger bread project this Christmas.  I am desperate.  I don't know how to top my stained glass or my three foot castle.  Ideas, please :)

 Check out that glue stick.  We mean business.
 This was before her face got smashed in her creation.
 Maybe it was only 2 feet.  Bigger in my memory.

 Jon's pirate ship.  I like the cannon.

Here are some pictures of Christmas memories past to help me climb back up to my festive self.

Noah as Santa Claus. One day I'm going to dye his eye brows white in his sleep so it matches his super expensive looking beard.

 Gingerbread making with kiddos.
 The Gavinator
 It wouldn't be a gingerbread event if some frosting and candy didn't end up on my face.  Notice that my mom and I find this way funnier than Teagan does.
 Who needs a house when you have a face.
 Some good lookin in-laws.  And I was having an awesome hair day.  Just sayin.
 Ugly sweaters.  Meet lumber-jack-sweater-vest-man.  Lookin good.
 Some old friends rocking the ugly sweaters.
 Gift exchange with SNOW in the background.
 Mario and Luigi.  They crack me up.
OK I am off to clean.  Hopefully.