Sunday, March 27, 2011


You know that silly song from "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" that talks about "it feels like home to me"?  I have that song in my head right now as I type this.  I just don't feel at home, and it seems to be wearing on me.  We moved into an apt/condo in the same building as some of our closest friends.  Awesome.  So great to be so close to them.  However, the apt itself, while being updated and fancy looking, was laid out by a bunch of idiot monkeys.  I have a kitchen that goes right into a living room, with no room for a t.v. and a kitchen table.  And no coat or linen closet to speak of.  I have a bedroom that is too small for a dresser, and a basement with two poles in the middle of it, leaving us only one way to set up out t.v....with our couch in the middle of the room.  Not to mention the barking dog next door that never.shuts.up.
I want to say that I feel at home no matter where it is at, because I am with the hubs.  However, thats not quite how I am feeling as of late.  I think my surroundings really affect me.  I am really bummed about spring coming and not being able to plant a garden this year.  I miss our old apartment (I don't really miss the commute that would come with it).  I miss having windows that face every direction so there was always sunlight in the house.  I miss having an office/aka craft room that I could turn into a giant disaster when I felt like getting creative, and then close the door and leave it like that when I was done.  I haven't sewn or made a thing since we moved, and that makes me really sad.  I miss having more space than I need so that I can host awesome game nights and have lots of family over.   I liked being a hostess and I don't feel like I can entertain here.
I totally feel like a whiner.  I am not living in a shack or a dangerous neighborhood.  In fact, its a rather well to do neighborhood, but for one reason or another, it just really doesn't feel like a good fit.  So what am I to do?  When our lease is up in August, I am pretty sure we will move closer to both of our jobs now that they are both further north and closer together.  Do we try to stay by family?  Do I try to find another two flat?  Do I get over it and move into a smaller apt to be able to save more money to buy a home?  I just don't know, but I am feeling super unsettled about it at the moment.  What really makes a place feel like home?

A shot of out old apartment with some of the furniture I sold.
Maple was so good to us :)  

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