That being said, we are at a new crossroads. Yesterday we were told that my mom had weeks to months to live without a ventricular assist device or a heart transplant. We were told that all options at this hospital have been exhausted and that she needs to be transferred to a university hospital. We were also denied a transport to Loyola because she is still "medcaid pending." It is so hard to know what is God's plan and what you need to fight for. After many prayers we were accepted at University of Chicago and are going to be transferred there as soon as a bed is available, hopefully today.
My mom is scared. The day has been filled with panic attacks and ugly tears. Even when you know this is what needs to happen, it is scary to go to a new place, with all new doctors, all new nurses, and no family down the street. All she has known for the past two months is this place, and these people. We have come to trust and love people and it is hard to give that up. But at the same time, we are extremely grateful for the approval of transfer to this new hospital, even while all the paperwork is still in process. We are choosing to trust that this is where God wants her to be.
Depending on what the new doctors determine, we will make new plans and say new prayers. She cannot be put on a transplant list until medicaid goes through, so please continue to pray for that specifically. Please pray for the transfer to go smoothly. Pray for good communication between doctors and nurses as so much has happened over the past two months and I am scared something will slip through the cracks. Please pray for the people that have cared for my mom to be blessed. Please pray that we can be a blessing in their life in some way. Please pray that our decisions will be clear cut, that if we are not meant to move forward with these really big and scary procedures, that we will know and will have peace. I will give a better update in the next couple of days when we know more of what our plan is.
I really wish I had words other than "thank you." Thank you does not seem big enough right now, nor does it cover how I truly feel.
But since I have no other words, I will continue to repeat "thank you." Thank you God for this sweet moment. Thank you for giving me another chance to climb in my mom's bed. Thank you for the baby in my belly that kicked her in the butt. Thank you that we were accepted at a hospital. Thank you for holding us close through the ups and downs and the very real conversations we have had about what my mom would like to happen before she dies. Thank you for all the moments we will have, whether it is just a couple more, or a couple years.
I will upload any and all pictures to my blog for my mom to see in those moments of panic and I will still put them all together in a book for her next week. Thank you again in advance. One moment at a time we will march forward, and I am again so grateful to not have to walk this journey alone.